Kirk Cousins is never going to win anything because he’s a Costco hotdog. There`s going to be no scarcity of jokes approximately the Vikings this week. Their fraudulent direction to the No. three seed turned into a street affected by near-losses to mediocre groups. The play withinside the Giant’s sport turned into uninspired, and boring, and failed in key locations on the worst viable instances. Even their destiny is asking the type of bleak. Minnesota is projected to be properly above the profits cap, and without plenty of drafts, capital to get younger — or higher withinside the process.
In the middle of that is Kirkland Cousins — which I’ve determined is now his call due to the fact he’s a Costco emblem franchise quarterback. I recognize that appears like slander, however, it`s simply now no longer. I actually have super admiration for Costco items. They are truly purposeful facsimiles of excessive quit products. They get the primary process performed for you — however, no person goes to be spreading the phrase approximately the Kirkland charcuterie platter you added to the container social.
Cousins will all the time be precisely the fellow he’s proper now. Every season he’s going to throw for 4,000 yards, hes going to make the Pro Bowl each yr, and he’s going to always do simply sufficient to make you believe you studied he has the expertise to win a Super Bowl. He won’t. It now no longer in his DNA as a player. There’s simply something endlessly lacking from Cousinssport that the absolutely super ones, the ring-triumphing, Lombardi-hoisting QBs possess, which he lacks. Cousins is the Scottie Pippen of NFL quarterbacks. He’s by no means going to be the fellow you want while the strain is on, while a vital sport at the line — however hell get you at near the dance, as though that’s a comfort prize.
On Sunday all Cousins had to do turned into one degree higher than the naked minimum — and he couldn`t. When the group wanted the smallest modicum of magic, they were given this.
I don`t even recognize what to mention approximately Kirkland Cousins anymore. The Vikings had been attempting this for 5 years now. Every yr has been the same: Cousins is the exceptional unremarkable quarterback withinside the NFL.
Don’t get me wrong, a variety of groups might kill to have the exceptional unremarkable passer withinside the league. Its simply … study the room. If you need to now no longer simply make it to the playoffs, however, thrive in them, it`s going to take a person else. There are a few quarterbacks who stay for the 4th and eighth with the sport at the line, and others who’re going to test down and lose, looking forward to humans to shield their near-ideal sport, besides while it mattered maximum.
My goodness does the person have greater than a fair proportion of humans inclined to shield his play to death? I’m satisfied there are greater folks that might soak up the sword to extol Kirkland’s virtues, evaluating him to Joe Montana — than the fact that he`s Derek Carr without the eyeliner.
I say this out of love. Minnesota, I need higher for you. Even in case, you cant see it proper now. I dont need to be the group who waits a decade to marry your Cousins so that you can relax in a secure domestic and by no means take that experience to Europe you dreamed of in college. I don’t need you to usually order a California roll on sushi nighttime due to that one time you obtain meal poisoning from a terrible order of mussels and its scared you off seafood ever since. I don’t need you to waste electricity protecting Kirkland warm dogs, while there’s artisanal sausages available the likes of which you`ve by no means experienced.
Your window is precisely proper now. There is a fleeting second right here earlier than the Lions visit the subsequent level, and the Bears get a helping forged for Justin Fields. Life is simply too brief to kick back withinside the Costco meals courtroom docket and say “properly, at the least Im now no longer in a Sams Club proper now.”
Winner: The Jaguars, and all and sundry via way of means of extension
There are such a lot of motives the Jaguar’s triumphing is right for football. Firstly, we wanted this in 2022. These playoffs are the suitable extension of one of the most unearthly ordinary seasons in the latest memory, and it might have been a rattling disgrace to make it this a long way and cross chalk.
In the alignment chart of the playoffs, the Jaguars are our vital chaotic celebration member. Ill go away it as much as you to determine whether or not they’re lawful or evil (I generally tend to suppose they’re neutral, however, will be swayed). We want an detail of utter ruination whose purpose it isn’t always to truly play, however, tear groups asunder of their wake. The pressure as a way to take a DMs flawlessly curated and prepared tale and throw a Molotov cocktail into the tavern without delay on arriving on the quest hub and spoil it all.
Before the playoffs started I stated that no group turned into a greater risky than the Jaguars and that they confirmed it. Now we`ll see how lengthy they could maintain this going — due to the fact the AFC is asking vulnerable as hell on the top (at the least till we see the Chiefs), and this can cause the type of randomness we want.
The different element is what this loss way to Los Angeles. We can not take a seat down idly via way of means of even as Justin Herbert is going the manner of Philip Rivers and wastes away in a den of mediocrity.
Being desired and getting beat via way of means of the Jags is precisely the type of factor that must cause education changes, and with their expertise on paper the Chargers must be one of the maximum acceptable jobs withinside the NFL. Now we wait to look if Dean Spanos is prepared to open his pockets to make it happen.
Loser: The Bills
Look, I get it, yall won — however Im alleged to be sitting right here on a Sunday night time saying “man, Buffalo looks as if they could cross all of the manner.” Not, “my god, they nearly misplaced to Skylar Thompson throwing forty five instances for 220 yards.”
It`s all approximately assembly expectations, and proper now
